American Girl Doll rampage...
I am becoming aware of the worldwide "hobby" of collecting and selling American Girl Dolls and anything related to them. When I first heard of these dolls, I remembered the whole mess around Cabbage Patch dolls, when my oldest daughter, Katie, was in first and second grade. My kids were in a Parochial school and the overwhelming majority of families attending the school had substantial incomes, much, much higher than ours. The year the dolls were introduced, the value went through the roof as Christmas approached. Fights happened at toy stores and ads in all the papers sprang up, with dolls being searched for and sold, at extremely inflated prices. I did the best I could and bought a very good handmade imitation and I'd like to think my daughter was happy to get it. Anyway, for a long time, American Girl Dolls have been much more than toys. In fact, "toy" is the last thing associated with them quite often and is seen as a flaw when resold. "Never touched, still in box" labels get the highest prices.
So what's a retired, just scraping by Grandma doing in this arena? Hell if I know!
I bought "my first" from an ad on Craigslist and it was to be for my granddaughter, Danielle.  (OK, honestly, originally two were listed and the one that started me going was to be for another granddaughter because her mom had mentioned how she had requested one last XMas and was upset that what she got was not AG, but some off brand. That one had already been sold, and I'd thought the second, cheaper one was going to be given to Danielle, so I stuck with that idea.) It is a cute doll... and was a fair price, if you don't adding the time and gas spent getting her from Durham, a three hour round trip from my home. She was our introduction to many things AG. This dolls legs were wobbly, which I learned was a consequence of that dreaded scourge, "Playing with" and could be fixed by a pricey trip to the AG Hospital. (No, I am not making this up!) But now, she needed some more clothes, and in the process of searching for them, I saw a doll with hazel eyes,  a "just like me" version that had Danielle's skin, eyes and hair coloring, so I did some aggressive bidding on ebay and got her, too. Her limbs were better and I loved seeing her eyes were quite similar to Danielle's. But by then I wanted one for myself. I really, really did. I knew that was off... kind off crazy, but I also knew the urge was most likely not going to go away, like an itch demanding to be scratched. (BAD simile, really BAD! Don't get me off onto that topic...lol!)

I just tried a new SVG set (from SVGAttic) and really had fun doing it. I think it is pretty, too.

sad?

I am wondering if I have SAD... The house is dark. Very dark. Night lights turn on automatically, throughout the day, if we don't shut them off. But Ira doesn't want to add skylights, saying it would look bad on the roof line.   I am trying to separate that issue from the reality that I want more sunlight in my life. So, I am thinking I will go sit on the dock during the day time. Try that and see how it works.    I am angry about Poppy, too. And Ted.  And I cannot talk to anyone about it at all.

sick of rape shows as entertainment

I have said this before, but I somehow need to make this very clear, watching pretend shows, reenacting rape scenes, is never going to be OK for me to watch as a form of entertainment, whether "educational"or not.  I can't go there. I choose not to got there. It amazes me that millions of people seem to feel safer... enjoying the view from a distance. Well, people, enjoy.  It makes me sick. Been there, Done that.

getting old rant....

I saw a recently taken picture of me and have to admit, I am an old lady. I go back and forth in my mind about whether to try to look younger...  make-up, hair.... etc.  But then I really want to figure out if I would feel better if I did that. Could I fool my mirrored self?   Today my foot hurts so badly I took a pain killer, thinking that would give me complete relief for a few hours. That didn't happen which scares me. I have reached the point where I do not trust any medical or surgical options any more and I seem incapable of doing what it takes to lose weight. I know that would be good for me in all ways... but then I go and eat something else.... Veganism and the extra nutritional supplements I have been taking seem to help some with some of my symptoms, but I have developed new ones in response to going off the prescription drugs I quit, too. Maybe I should sign up for a month at the indoor pool.... It is expensive but if I used it, it would help with the foot pain and also the weight loss.

Starting today

I am going to give this a try.... cheaper than therapy and I can stay in my jammies.